How Eddie Should Feel
Welcome back. Now, as some of you may have just seen, we’re going over a different tool today on Tool Talk, but one that’s just as important as any cordless drill because it allows us to be better lovers, husbands, partners, just whatever when it comes to getting in there and—
In other words, your penis.
We’re here to talk about how your ED device, Eddie, should feel when you have it on and how to know when you have the right size.
Well, I’ll tell you what. Go ahead and just sort of pen me in for something around an XXL, shoinggggg.
I’m going to go ahead and not do that. In fact, if you accurately filled out your size calculator, you should have one of these four sizes—A, B, C—
Oh, all right. Tell you what. You don’t know this yet. This is actually the fifth secret menu size—ooom.
While I am impressed with how quickly you made that—
–that ED device would be bigger than anything a horse could use.
Well, there’s many different types of horses admittedly.
Fair point. When wearing Eddie without the bands, it should not feel uncomfortable or painful. And then once you add the bands, it should feel like a firm handshake and the pressure should be at the top and not squeezing too hard on the sides.
Okay, okay, okay. So not like this. Well, what if I set up–interesting story. Now what if I set up a little vise-grip over there by the nightstand? I just get it on there and I have that kind of around here?
What would even make you think of that?
I’m just trying to sort of figure out some options for ED treatment, some possibilities. All right. We take the shot back over there in the corner. I go ahead and put that there—
No! Absolutely not! No! No, no vacuums, no vise-grips, no painful constriction. Unlike the rubber band, a traditional cock ring, that pipe or whatever, other random things you want to stick yourself into, penises are not round.
They’re just not.
So, neither is Eddie.
I like my erections to be non-painful for the most part. That’s how I roll.
Now, if you experience any type of pain, if you’re unable to ejaculate, or if it feels painful to ejaculate, it’s probably because your Eddie is too tight.
I’ll be having trouble since, you know, because of the size is—
Oh, yeah, we get it, because you’re so big.
All right, okay, okay. You mentioned sizing this and sizing that, and then when I try to tell you that I needed the biggest ED device possible, you shot me down, all right? So, how do I—
Measure yourself accurately to get the right size without shame or ego?
Be sure to check out our next video to learn how to properly size yourself for Eddie.
Do it for Eddie.
But I mean, some of those ideas were pretty good. If you take this—
They’re all bad.
–and I lay my jolly johnson right in-between the vise—
–bringing the shot back, I can actually put my beans and my franks, just everything in—
They range from bad to woah-bad.
They range from bad to unimaginably bad.
Well, I’ll tell you what. If you put it in reverse and then just squeeze it like blow dry there—
They range from bad to deranged, quite frankly.
And you can just take your muffin and just ….
I mean, I’ve got to give you points, but outside-the-box bad.
Just dream with me.